Pride Goeth Before The Fall

I'm back...I am a dilettante blogger...I will attempt to write more freely and often and I suspect with more spontaneity and freedom to express what wants to be expressed with less "thought" as to a salient topic or point. Really, there often is no point, stuff just happens, shit happens, surrender happens, at least that is my experience. Today was a "fall" day...there aren't too many left as it will soon be a winter day. It was a fall and a "fall" day. I continue to experience stretching and until recently, I wasn't very flexible. I am more and more becoming and in the becoming I am Elastigirl from The Incredibles; very stretchy! Stretchy is good, stretchy is exciting and stretchy is painful! Life keeps limbering me up; but the muscles tighten again each time and the stretch though familiar is still challenging.

The continuing experience in my life is not having enough money...yes, and month after month after month, "loss" after loss after loss, there is still more to lose, more to strip away. I wrote today to a colleague, of whom I asked for consideration on a payment; that I was weary of the growth and stretching that this experience continues to bring; I do see the brilliance and perfection at moments and at moments I am frankly, tired. Yes, I feel a weariness today and I realize it is because I believe there is something to fight, something that is resistant to the reality of my current circumstances. So, today, I asked for compassion and forgiveness and exposed my vulnerabilities. After I asked for this consideration, I could feel Proud Mary rise up within me and challenge what I had done, what I had asked for. And then, the magical banner floated through my minds eye and the phrase, "pride goeth before the fall." This is from Proverbs 16, "pride goeth before destruction," and I felt the shift, the energy move to this other experience, ah ha, it is time to fall again. Kali the Destroyer is back to do more reconstruction. So here, on this twilight evening with a harvest moon hanging low in the sky, I am falling and I do not know when or where I will land. But rest assured, this journey, this stretching, this pride falling, it is an honor to experience...I'll be back.